July 16, 2018
My Biggest Stepmom Mistake & How You Can Avoid It.
When I started out as a stepmom, I learned alot by trial and error.
The biggest mistake that I made, by far, was putting myself last. I've learned over the years that it's a mistake a lot of stepmoms make.
But when you become a mom or stepmom, you’re supposed to be self-sacrificing and put your own needs last… aren’t you?
Isn’t self-sacrifice what makes someone a good mother? In my early stepmom days, I believed this and so I fell into the destructive cycle of always putting myself last.
I stopped doing things that were important to me because there just wasn’t enough time and money.
I gave up a lot in an attempt to convince my husband that I was the perfect stepmom (and therefore his perfect match). I bent over backwards to get the kids, their mom, and my new in-laws to like me.
I quickly learned that this was a recipe for burn-out, resentment and stress.
The greatest gift we can give our blended families is the most whole and self-loving version of us.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t fully show up as you in the world. Taking care of yourself means truly loving yourself and tending to your own needs and desires first. It means making YOU a top priority in your own life, holding true to your own values and beliefs, and teaching your kids to do the same.
Self-sacrificing is not love.
That type of needy, codependent love can actually block you from experiencing true love in your life.
Yes, when we have kids their needs matter and are of the utmost importance. But that doesn’t mean that our needs and desires don’t matter anymore. It doesn’t have to be an either-or, and there’s room for both.
I know that you too, may be putting your needs last, taking care of others, and trying your best to make this blended family thing work.
I fell into the trap of self-sacrificing and over-giving at the beginning of my stepmom journey, and since then I've grown in ways I never imagined were possible.
It's thanks to me working on my own self-improvement, that my blended family is thriving today, beyond my wildest dreams.
Things aren't perfect, and although we've had our ups and downs, I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that it's possible for you to live a purpose-driven life as a stepmom, where your needs matter and you are living in peace.
I've also learned that what works for one family doesn't work for all families. That's why its important to tune into your own inner-wisdom and find a unique stepmom style that works for you and your family.
But it's not easy. And there's a sea of information out there to navigate.
The best way to thrive as a stepmom is to invest your time and energy in the resources that are right for you.
So where do you begin?
There are ALOT of resources & information for stepmoms available on the web, and purchasing programs, courses, and books can get pricey. So how do you know what works and what doesn't?
Available this week only...
My friend Kristen Skiles from Stepmomming.com has vetted out some of the best resources for stepmoms, and organized an exclusive package for you.
The biggest mistake that I made, by far, was putting myself last. I've learned over the years that it's a mistake a lot of stepmoms make.
But when you become a mom or stepmom, you’re supposed to be self-sacrificing and put your own needs last… aren’t you?
Isn’t self-sacrifice what makes someone a good mother? In my early stepmom days, I believed this and so I fell into the destructive cycle of always putting myself last.
I stopped doing things that were important to me because there just wasn’t enough time and money.
I gave up a lot in an attempt to convince my husband that I was the perfect stepmom (and therefore his perfect match). I bent over backwards to get the kids, their mom, and my new in-laws to like me.
I quickly learned that this was a recipe for burn-out, resentment and stress.
The greatest gift we can give our blended families is the most whole and self-loving version of us.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you can’t fully show up as you in the world. Taking care of yourself means truly loving yourself and tending to your own needs and desires first. It means making YOU a top priority in your own life, holding true to your own values and beliefs, and teaching your kids to do the same.
Self-sacrificing is not love.
That type of needy, codependent love can actually block you from experiencing true love in your life.
Yes, when we have kids their needs matter and are of the utmost importance. But that doesn’t mean that our needs and desires don’t matter anymore. It doesn’t have to be an either-or, and there’s room for both.
I know that you too, may be putting your needs last, taking care of others, and trying your best to make this blended family thing work.
I fell into the trap of self-sacrificing and over-giving at the beginning of my stepmom journey, and since then I've grown in ways I never imagined were possible.
It's thanks to me working on my own self-improvement, that my blended family is thriving today, beyond my wildest dreams.
Things aren't perfect, and although we've had our ups and downs, I wouldn't have it any other way. I know that it's possible for you to live a purpose-driven life as a stepmom, where your needs matter and you are living in peace.
I've also learned that what works for one family doesn't work for all families. That's why its important to tune into your own inner-wisdom and find a unique stepmom style that works for you and your family.
But it's not easy. And there's a sea of information out there to navigate.
The best way to thrive as a stepmom is to invest your time and energy in the resources that are right for you.
So where do you begin?
There are ALOT of resources & information for stepmoms available on the web, and purchasing programs, courses, and books can get pricey. So how do you know what works and what doesn't?
Available this week only...
My friend Kristen Skiles from Stepmomming.com has vetted out some of the best resources for stepmoms, and organized an exclusive package for you.
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If you're looking to save money (and your sanity), this package is for you!
I'm excited to be sharing this unique opportunity with you, and offering some high-value, added bonuses to get you on the right track in your stepmom journey, no matter how long you've been at it. |
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The Successful Stepmom's Tool Belt includes 15 different digital resources, including workbooks, subscriptions, courses + live support, my meditation album, a co-parenting planner, and even a co-parenting app for your phone!
LIMITED TIME BONUS:
Purchase through my link and in addition to the package, you'll also get:
+ One hour coaching session from me ($149 value) for the first 5 stepmoms
+ An exclusive invite to a live webinar with me in the fall
+ Access to my secret Facebook group, an intimate space to get daily inspiration and support (not publicly searchable, access by invite only)
Enter your details below to get my bonuses, and click the button to take you to the sales page.
I'm excited to connect with you and support you on your stepmom journey. I know it's not easy, and I've been where you are. I know that when you invest in your own personal development and self-care, things can get a whole lot easier.
If any of that resonates, I'd like to invite you to take a stand and put yourself first today by taking advantage of this limited time offer (until Friday only)!
IMPORTANT: Even if you check out the package and don't purchase, by signing up below you'll get an invite to my fall webinar, be added to my free newsletter, and entered into a draw to win a FREE 90 day coaching package with me ($1500 value). Your info will NOT be shared and will stay with me.
LIMITED TIME BONUS:
Purchase through my link and in addition to the package, you'll also get:
+ One hour coaching session from me ($149 value) for the first 5 stepmoms
+ An exclusive invite to a live webinar with me in the fall
+ Access to my secret Facebook group, an intimate space to get daily inspiration and support (not publicly searchable, access by invite only)
Enter your details below to get my bonuses, and click the button to take you to the sales page.
I'm excited to connect with you and support you on your stepmom journey. I know it's not easy, and I've been where you are. I know that when you invest in your own personal development and self-care, things can get a whole lot easier.
If any of that resonates, I'd like to invite you to take a stand and put yourself first today by taking advantage of this limited time offer (until Friday only)!
IMPORTANT: Even if you check out the package and don't purchase, by signing up below you'll get an invite to my fall webinar, be added to my free newsletter, and entered into a draw to win a FREE 90 day coaching package with me ($1500 value). Your info will NOT be shared and will stay with me.
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About the author:
Hey there, I'm Anna de Acosta, Stepmom Coach, Intuitive Guide & Creator of the Mindful Stepmom. I'm a Canadian expat, mom and full-time stepmom to 4 kids - living a life wilder than my wildest dreams, with the love of my live, at the foot of an active volcano in Peru. Learn more about my stepmom journey here.
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