I'm a stepmom who is about to have a baby. When inner resources (patience, energy, tolerance) are stretched, I find dealing with stepkids (with opposite influence from different house) especially hard! How can I deal with this better?
- Stretched resources
Dear stretched resources,
Congratulations on the baby!
The last few months of pregnancy can be hard, so any additional stressors will be harder to deal with. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself the extra space to feel and process.
I’m reading between the lines and hearing a potential limiting belief that “resources are scarce” (you can only stretch so far before you snap).
Is this true for you? This can refer to internal resources (there is only so much patience to go around), or physical resources (there’s only so much money and things to go around). You may be fearing that giving more to your stepkids means less for you and your kids.
if that’s the case, here are 3 steps to try that can help you feel at ease:
Step 1 - Check your limiting beliefs and fears. Are you coming from a place of scarcity and lack? Do you believe there’s only so far you can stretch? That inner glass ceiling may be holding you back. Inner and outer resources are abundant. When you shift your mindset to change this belief (there’s enough love, energy, money, patience etc. to go around), you may feel more expansive, open, and in flow to deal with the situation better.
“But Anna, there’s only enough patience to go around, only so much I can or should endure.” I hear you. You shouldn’t be the one sacrificing and stretching all the time. Are other people stepping up to the plate to support you, and are you asking for the support you need? We often expect others to be mind readers, and when they see ya dealing with things so well on the outside, they don’t know we’re struggling.
Step 2 - ask for help! Make things as easy as possible for yourself. The idea of flipping your internal beliefs in step 1 is not so you can deal with everything on your own - you shouldn’t have to. Get the support you need, both physically and emotionally, to deal with these last few months of pregnancy with ease.
Stress is felt by the baby and your kids/stepkids, so you need to do what you can to shift your internal environment from stress to flow, and make things easier for yourself on the outside too by getting support. Where can you ask for help so you can tend to your emotional needs?
Step 3 - Full yourself up first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. You can give freely from a place of abundance and overflow. What energizes you? Do more of that, and show up for yourself first so that you can be there for others. This could be singing, dancing, getting out in nature, reading, running, the list is endless but unique to you. What lights you up?
What makes you feel alive? Do more of that and you will likely start to feel like there is more to go around.
You’ve got this, and I’ve got you! If you need more support and accountability reach out to schedule a free discovery call to see if coaching is a good next step for you.